Monsters,
We don't usually do these "newsletter" style posts, but it's been a busy few months and we have a lot to say! So I wanted to take a minute to catch everyone up. You've all been awesome lately while we undergo these changes, and that's why we're offering a 15% discount on any order this weekend with the code MONSTERSRULE.
The Bride is right at 8 months pregnant now. As you can imagine, she's been slowing down a little bit, so shipping has slowed down just a little. Some orders are going out a day or two later than usual (as you may have noticed). You have all been really cool being so patient while we do our best to keep up with orders. As much as we'd love to just take the next couple of months off, we're a small family business and we've got bills to pay - so while the Creature might be taking on more and more around the Lair, we're managing it and all is well!
The baby (aka Child of Frankenstein) is doing great. If everything goes according to plan, she will be here in about a month. We will definitely update everyone as soon as she is born - so stay tuned to our e-mails or social channels (Facebook & Instagram)!
We've introduced MONSTER Deodorant recently, and it's been a big hit. If you haven't tried it yet, you should while we've got the discount going this weekend. It's made of natural and naturally derived ingredients, so it's different from the kind of deodorant you get in the store, but it works just the same. The deodorant is the first in a number of new products we will be rolling out over the rest of this year, though I don't want to give any spoilers just yet - with the baby coming, I'm not sure when I'll have them out!
We've introduced some "lady monsters" in the last year, and we're currently working on a much more extensive line of products for women (including a number of moisturizers, bath products, and a more robust selection of hair care products). Those are going to be hitting pretty soon, so keep an eye out!
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Rose hydrosol is the byproduct of rose essential oil production. It basically works like this: plant matter is slowly heated in water inside a distiller. The steam collects and drips down into a collection area. The steam contains essential oil and water. The two are separated, and the water part is hydrosol. They are chemically different, but also similar.
The essential oil is prized for it's strong fragrance, and thus its ability to scent products like soaps, perfumes, etc. The hydrosol does not have as strong a fragrance, but it contains the same health benefits as the essential oil.
In the case of roses, a relatively small amount of essential oil is created (thus it's pretty expensive), and the majority of what is produced is hydrosol. Being available in higher quantities, we can do things like replace some of all of the water contents of our products with it. And that's what we've been doing.
We're not scientists or doctors, but here's what we know from the work other, smarter people have done studying rose hydrosol.
Vitamin C: Vitamin C is good for you. I mean obviously. And roses actually contain a great deal of it. That's why, for example, making a tea out of rose hips is a useful survival trick. Using skin and hair products with rose imparts the benefits of that vitamin C, such as its collagen boosting ability.
Anti-inflammatory: Rose has also long been known for reducing inflammation. It's believed to help with acne, eczema, and psoriasis.
Antibacterial: Like a lot of essences distilled from beneficial plants, rose hydrosol has antibacterial properties. You wouldn't want to use it to sterilize a scalpel, but it can add a bit of oomph to your cleansing products.
Aphrodisiac: This one may not be the most scientific claim, but a lot of people believe rose hydrosol (and rose essential oil and roses themselves for that matter) to have an aphrodisiac quality. This one we feel you should do your own experimentation with.
Attention lovers of our resident Victorian serial killer! The scent known as Jack the Ripper has had a change of name. The new nom de guerre will be Gentleman Jack! It's the same scent you know and love, but with a new name.
Basically, we just thought it sounded better. A bit subtler than just JACK THE RIPPER, you know? Plus something about it just never felt like it meshed with the rest of the monsters, and this one feels...well, we just like it better okay?
There's a possibility over the next week or so of receiving products labeled either Gentleman Jack or Jack the Ripper. Be aware that the product inside is the same - but some old Jack labels are still going out, and one or two is bound to slip through the cracks either way!
]]>One character however, will only be used on one label and sent to only one customer. That character will be denoted as the SOLE SURVIVOR on the label. that bar will come with a code that will get you April's Sinister Stash for FREE!
Who gets the bar will be completely luck-of-the-draw. Whether you're the first to order or the last to order, you've got an equal chance of winning!
If you happen to win, we'd love for you to send us a picture of your order - it'll help when we announce the close of the contest on our social media pages!
The contest has no specific end date, but this is a limited edition soap, so when we are out of stock the contest is over.
]]>We recently rearranged our office situation (moved things from one room to another, did some remodeling). In the process, we discovered a box of these cups! They're thick, double wall insulated, and reusable. They look like those cheap plastic party cups, but that's just a style thing - they're quite sturdy!
We have swag we didn't know we had, so we figured the best thing to do would be to give it away for FREE to our customers!
So while supplies last, get a FREE MONSTER cup with any order $25+! That's before shipping but after discounts (your subtotal must be at least $25). No code necessary - we will just throw one in the box for you! (Note: we are posting this a bit later in the day, so orders placed earlier, don't worry - you'll get one, even if you didn't know you were gonna when you ordered).
These won't last long. We found a box, not a truckload. So get your order in quick if you want one of these bad boys!
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Here's a key takeaway to start out:
If you're currently a Sinister Stash subscriber, NOTHING HAS CHANGED about your subscription!
Historically, the Stash has been a subscription-only service. This helps our small business have a clear picture of how many items need to be produced for each upcoming Stash. As a result we don't have to worry about under-producing, which helps the boxes to go out on time and keeps our production less chaotic.
However, you guys have been asking for years to see an option for a one-time purchase without having to subscribe. And we'd be nowhere as a company if we didn't give our customers what they want. So we have opened the Stash up to one-time purchases.
One-Time Purchases will be available only for the last 5 days of the month.
This is solely a logistical thing, to ensure that one-time purchases don't have to wait long to see their order ship (subscribers already know to expect their Stash every 30 days).
We are now offering three different tiers of the Sinister Stash.
This is the traditional version of the Sinister Stash. It includes beard oil, beard balm, beard wash, beard conditioner, soap, and cologne (one of each item). This is the most comprehensive box, and also the best value ($61 of gear at $50 for subscribers). If you are a current Stash subscriber, you are already subscribed to this box.
This box contains only the beard tools - beard oil, balm, wash, and conditioner.
For those who love our soaps but don't need beard grooming tools, this box contains 3 bars of soap plus a bottle of our very popular cologne.
Obviously with three levels of the Stash now, there are three prices. But there are also two pricing options for each tier: Subscriber and One-Time Purchase. Subscriptions get a significant discount. This is to incentivize subscribers (duh). We still prefer the subscription model as the numbers can change so much from month to month, which complicates our production process.
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Today is our favorite holiday, so we're offering 3 different ways to get a FREE item!
1. Buy 3 soaps, get a FREE bottle of cologne. Choose any 3 soaps (even 3 of the same), and any cologne (includes Bride perfume).
2. Buy 3 colognes, get a FREE bar of soap. Again, any scents you want.
3. Buy 3 beard oils, get a FREE bottle of beard conditioner. Didn't think we'd forget the beard monsters, did ya?
You can only get one free item per order. We actually tried to make it so you could get all 3, but our cart won't support it. Boo cart!
]]>We've got a kickass offer for you this weekend that we think you're going to love. You can get any of our MONSTER colognes for FREE with a $35 order. Here's how it works:
1. Put $35 worth of stuff in your cart.
2. Go check out our MONSTER Cologne and add the variety you want to the cart. The total must be $35 BEFORE the cologne is added.
3. Proceed to checkout, and use the discount code FREECOLOGNE. The cologne's price should change to 0!
4. Finish checking out.
A few notes: This can't be used with subscriptions or with the multi-soap discount. That's just a function of how discount codes work in our cart (both of those things have automatic discounts and you won't be able to use the BOGOSKULL discount with it. Obviously this can't be combined with any other coupon codes, and it ends April 30, 2022.
]]>This weekend we are offering a flash sale, wherein you - yes YOU - can get a FREE 2 oz. Skull Beard Oil with any $40 purchase (multiple items fine). Here's how it works:
1. Put $40 worth of stuff in your cart.
2. Cruise over to our Beard Oil page and select the 2 oz. Skull you want.
3. Proceed to checkout, and use the discount code BOGOSKULL. The skull's price will change to 0!
4. Finish checking out.
A few notes: This can't be used with subscriptions or with the multi-soap discount. That's just a function of how discount codes work in our cart (both of those things have automatic discounts and you won't be able to use the BOGOSKULL discount with it. Obviously this can't be combined with any other coupon codes, and it ends March 30, 2022.
Edit: You guys have gone bananas over this so we've extended the promo to April 15th.
]]>Thought y'all might wanna see it.
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And like that monster, the time has come for us to make a little change in our Creature's anatomy.
This all started a couple of months ago. Austin - head (mad) beard scientist at MONSTER Flesh & Mane as well as avid third-person writer - regularly makes himself creative new beard oil scents. Some of them are awful. Some of them become fragrances for the Sinister Stash. But some of them are destined for a greater purpose.
Case in point: a mixture of bergamot, vanilla, and frankincense. It's a lovely scent; warm, spicy, smooth and sweet. Austin liked it so much he thought to make it a member of the regular line-up of fragrances. But the rules in the black grimoire that govern our business state that there can be only 13 scents (12 plus the Invisible Man). So something would have to get the axe. But which one?
And then came a critique about the scent from beard mistress Lori. "It smells like the Creature, but better."
Now, I'm not going to wheel out the sales numbers here, but let's put it this way: The Creature is...not for everyone. Some people love the bold, spicy nature of it. Some people find it too strong and kinda weird. There are more people in the second category.
So the path forward became pretty clear at that point. Nothing had to go away; we just had to change the Creature formula and use this one instead. Basically, we're swapping the current formula's cedar for vanilla. The result is a fragrance that replaces the Creature's legendary (or notorious, depending on which camp you're in) boldness with a smoother, mellower feel.
While there is still stock of the original Creature on the shelf, it will remain available as individual items (beard oil, beard balm, beard wash, beard conditioner, and mustache wax).
Those remaining stock items will be clearance priced for now at 50% off. If you are a fan, buy up all you want, cause this is your last chance to get the classic formula.
Kits, bundles, and combos for the Creature will be temporarily unavailable.
Sample packs will include the NEW formula starting today (September 27). Grab one if you want to try it, but don't purchase one of the clearance items if you want more of that - cause you'll be getting the old formula.
We expect most of these items to be sold out in a few days. When you see the prices return to normal, and the kits and bundles become available again, then you will know that we are using the new scent! The "scents" tabs on the various product pages will also be updated to reflect the new scent, so you can double check there if you want to be sure.
We hope you dig the new Creature scent. It's pretty awesome. If you've tried the Creature before and found that it just wasn't for you, I'd urge you to give it another shot. We may have only changed one ingredient, but it really is an entirely new aroma.
Check out the links below to go directly to the clearance-priced Creature items.
Weddings are a chaotic mess, but guess what? Now the fun time comes. We're going to Florida for a week and a half for our honeymoon!
Er . . . incidentally, that means that no one is going to be here to ship packages. That's the drawback of the small, family business situation; if you go out of town, you've gotta flip that door sign from "open" to "closed" till you get back.
But don't despair! Because this means you get a break on shipping costs. How much of a break, you ask? How about 100%. That work for ya?
Yea baby! Shipping is free on ALL ORDERS placed between now and September 3rd when we get back.
Just use the discount code: HONEYMOON.
And we'll see you psychos when we get home!
]]>We have a long history of bringing you products for hair, beard, and body at a price that's lower than most of our competitors. We're a small business, and like most people, we know what it's like not to want to pay $40 for a bottle of beard oil. We make our products for customers who feel the same way, and try to keep our prices as low as possible.
At first glance, our Blood Bath body wash appears to be the more expensive option: $8-13 vs. a mere $5 for a bar of our soap. But longevity is a consideration here. A bar of our coconut oil MONSTER soap will last anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks for a single person. 8 oz. of body wash, on the other hand, can last two months - maybe a bit longer if you're conservative with it, maybe not so long if you like to really get that bath puff saturated. So consider that while $13 is obviously more than $5, you may get as much as three times the amount of use out of it (making the body wash the cheaper option in the long run).
How do you define "natural" when it comes to bath and body products? Obviously no one is harvesting soap from some mystical forest, pre-scented and cut into perfect bars. But some consider a soap like ours - made from pure coconut oil, water, and lye - to be the more natural option.
Soap is not naturally occurring, but were we to find ourselves in some kind of post-apocalypse scenario, and all the soap had been raided years ago, we could make soap out of any natural fat and wood ashes. For many years this was the way - ash and beef tallow, or naturally occurring butters like cocoa and shea in Africa. That's not how it's done anymore - science has given us pure sodium hydroxide (lye) so we don't have to make the crude, mushy soap our ancestors used to make. But even a viking soaper a thousand years ago was still forcing natural ingredients to undergo a chemical reaction to produce a finished product - and thus becomes a synthetic material.
But if soap is not quite natural, body wash - ours and anyone else's - is considered less so, as it starts with synthetic ingredients. Sure, something like coco betaine begins with coconut oil, but that oil is reacted with other substances to create the finished product (similar to how oil, water, and lye are mixed to create a new substance).
If you prefer the most natural product you can get, then bar soap is your better bet. If you're into mad science like we are, then this isn't a consideration anyway.
One thing people like about bar soap is how easy it is to use. Grab that hunk of fatted-lye and rub it on a wet surface, and there you have it - a result that is, according to the old adage, next to godliness.
Body wash, on the other hand, should be applied to a cloth, or preferably a sponge or bath puff. This extra step is a turn-off for some, but we urge those extremely time-efficient washers to consider something else: applying body wash with a sponge/puff/cloth has the added benefit of exfoliation. This is something that can't be achieved by simply rubbing a bar of soap on your skin. You could use soap with a sponge, of course, but this make the time consideration moot.
Both means of application are efficient - it's just up to you what kind of efficiency you prefer.
As of right now, we have four options for our bar soaps: Bigfoot, Ghostly Pirate, Psycho Clown, and Reaper. Only those last two are available as a body wash (though we intend to expand the options in the near future). So depending on your fragrance preferences, you may like to go one way or the other on this one.
Check out our soap and body wash options here, and decide for yourself what kind of man you are.
Well.
In 2014, we started selling beard oils on Etsy under the name Beard Monster. The product labels were embarrassingly bad, the fragrances needed some work, but the oil worked. It worked damn well. So we started to grow.
Flash forward to 2017, and we've started to introduce a few new products - a body wash and lotion at first, but soon more. As our catalog of non-beard products grew, something became increasingly obvious: our name was a little off. Since we were no longer just a beard company, we dropped the "Beard" and just became MONSTER We soon realized that MONSTER is also a resume website and an energy drink, so we clarified it to MONSTER Flesh & Mane, and changed our URL to monsterformen.com.
Then we made a line of products for women.
So, the "for men" part of the URL was a little short-sighted, wasn't it? Obviously.
It wasn't long before we realized we would eventually need a better URL. It was, however, quite a long time before we came up with one.
As we've developed more and more new scents (some seasonal, many for the Sinister Stash), we've also developed a sort of loose mythology around the monsters that represent our fragrances. Part of that mythos is that all these monsters dwell in an ancient castle.
The Monster Lair.
Given that this is the domain of the monsters, it struck us that this would also make a good URL for our company's website. So we've made the change.
Practically, nothing will change for our users. Monsterformen.com will still redirect to this site (for that matter, so will monsterbeardcare.com if you somehow haven't updated your bookmarks in years).
But we do need to let you know, so that you don't freak out when you see the URL change on you.
Keep rippin' it up out there, monsters.
- The MONSTER Team
]]>We are a small, family business. We work hard to make and ship our products to you, and judging by the pics you share with us on Facebook and Instagram, it is worth all the hours we put in!
But around Christmas, we give ourselves a week off. During that time, we don't ship out orders. But we are a website, so we are sorta always open for business. That's why during this magical week, we offer FREE SHIPPING on all orders $10 and up.
Use the code XMASVACATION at checkout.
We hope you monsters have a great holiday. We will be back on the 28th!
Offer good for any USA destination. Ends December 28th, 2020 at midnight Pacific.
]]>Not sure which scent will work best for you? Check out this chart for some recommendations. If you're still not sure, you've got two solid options:
Check out our sample pack to try all 12 fragrances.
Or
]]>This month's fragrance might be our most requested retired scent: Four Horsemen. This was one of our premium oils for a couple of years. It's scent is coffee, tobacco, leather, & musk. The process of infusing coffee and tobacco with the oil is far more involved than our other fragrances (which use essential oils and resins, which easily mix into oil). That's why we ended up retiring it. But we're breaking out the old hardware to do it for one more month.
Don't miss your chance.
June's fragrance Ectoplasm has now faded back beyond the veil once again. If you missed it and you're bummed, we still have a bit of the fragrance left can can whip up an oil as a custom order - just send us an e-mail. Supplies are real limited there, though.
]]>It was Lori's idea, to give credit where it's due. She handles a lot of the e-mail, and mentioned that there are certain old fragrances that people keep asking about. This summer, the idea went, we should bring one fragrance back all three months - June, July, and August. Let the Monsters who have been with us for years take a trip down memory lane. Let the people who have joined us since try some of the fragrances they missed.
To keep things fresh, and to keep our creative juices flowing (something that is necessary to keep us from going mad), we churn out new fragrances at least a few times a year. Mostly they are made to be temporary, like the Hellfire we just finished offering through May of this year. Others became too expensive to produce when an essential oil supplier raises prices (or in one case, went out of business, leaving us without a source).
Others fell victim to a decision we made a few years back to limit our number of offered fragrances to 13 (12 plus the unscented Invisible Man). We're a small business, and producing an oil, balm, wash, and wax in 13 varieties is already a great deal of work. And 13 happens to be our lucky number, so we cut it off there.
Thus was the fate of Ectoplasm - our first offering of Resurrection Summer. We introduced the Headless Horseman in Halloween of 2017, and it was immensely popular. We knew we had to keep it around or there would be riots in the streets, so we had to pick one to get rid of. We already had the Ghostly Pirate with it's beachy scent, and when we decided to add the Headless Horseman (which we retitled the Psycho Clown since it wasn't going to be Halloween all the time), we knew two oranges and a tangerine was just redundant. Thus, Ectoplasm got the axe.
Personally, I always really liked the Ectoplasm and was sad to see it go. The tangerine is a nice alternative to orange if you are a citrus fan, while the smooth, almost vanilla-like woodsiness of the atlantic cedar creates a very summery tone. The overall vibe is very beachy, and the perfect choice to kickoff this summer event of ours.
We've also been told that it reminds some customers of a certain green juicebox beverage from the 80's and 90's.
Ectoplasm will be available as a beard oil, beard balm, beard wash, and mustache wax through the month of June. After that, another retro scent will rise from the grave. So if you've got one you have been hoping to get the chance to try again, keep an eye out - it might be next.
]]>Er . . . that might require a little more explanation.
Shampoo is made up chiefly of water and surfactants (or surface active agents). A surfactant is a chemical compound that reduces the surface tension between two liquids. Their molecules have a polar head and a non-polar tail, allowing them to bond simultaneously to polar (like water) and non-polar (like oil) molecules.
Your body secretes a kind of oil called sebum - often called your "natural oil" or "skin oil." Dirt and gunk and bacteria get mixed up in that oil and just kinda . . . hang out on your skin. The dirt can get into your pores and follicles and cause infections (generally, zits). The bacteria can do the same, and also has the lovely side effect of making you smell like the devil's outhouse.
Water alone will not get rid of the oil/gunk soup, because water does not mix with oil. If you wash with a wet cloth alone, the cloth is probably doing more to clean you than the water is. But a surfactant changes that, because it grabs onto the sebum on your skin with it's tail, and its head grabs onto the water. When you're rinsing in the shower, or under a sink, or in the spray of a mighty waterfall, the soap, oil, dirt, and all the lovely gross things living and feeding off your skin oil go for a ride on the water, leaving you clean.
When you clean your hair, you're really cleaning your scalp more than the hair itself. Hair is just dead cells and keratin. Your scalp is just skin like any other part of your body, and it secretes that wonderful dirt-trapping sebum that bacteria finds so damn delicious. That sebum does end up in your hair, but it's far more concentrated at the scalp. That's why shampoo directions always tell you to focus your cleaning efforts there.
The most basic surfactant we encounter in our lives is called soap. It's made up of water, fatty acids (oils), and a base called lye (usually sodium hydroxide, but sometimes potassium hydroxide). It's damn effective at removing that sebum oil. But a little too damn effective. That's why you don't use soap to wash your hair; it strips away oil so well, you're left feeling very dry. Dry hair gets brittle and likes to break, get frizzy, and is just all around a bad time for everyone.
Fortunately, there are a s***-ton of surfactants other than soap, that all work essentially the same way, but with variations. Some are harsher than soap, and some aren't even safe for your skin. But some exist in a sort of Goldilocks zone where they can effectively remove dirt and oil without drying skin and hair too much. Those are the chemicals that make up shampoo.
The cheapest surfactants that can accomplish the goal of a shampoo are called sulfates. There are plenty of sulfate molecules out there, but the two big ones you will see are sodium lauryl sulfate and sodium laureth sulfate. Most shampoos you will find at the store use these chemicals - especially anything that runs under $5 a bottle. That's because they are super mondo cheap to produce. But that lower price tag on your shampoo comes at, well, a price.
Sulfates are known to be irritants. Studies have also shown evidence that they can cause organ toxicity, hair loss, and have a detrimental effect on the environment. It's long been thought that they could be carcinogenic, but no compelling evidence of this has yet been produced. Doctors have linked the irritation caused by sulfates to problems with acne, eczema, and other skin disorders, and recommend anyone with skin issues like these to discontinue use of sulfates. Some people can use products with sulfates without issue. Some can't use them at all. Others may experience no trouble for years, then suddenly begin to feel major irritation from the use of sulfates later on. This is why higher quality shampoos avoid sulfates entirely.
Brief note on bad ingredients: You will also see good quality shampoos advertising that they lack silicone and parabens. Some silicone ingredients are good conditioners, but due to their molecular structure, can be irritants like sulfates, and are best avoided. Parabens, sometimes used as preservatives in cosmetics and shampoos, may or may not be harmful; all scientists know for sure is that they have been found in tumors. Doesn't mean they cause them, but there's some kind of link. MONSTER shampoo uses neither. |
MONSTER Shampoo uses three surfactants:
Alpha Olefin Sulfonate: Don't let the name mislead you; this is a sulfONate, not a sulfate. The difference is, basically a carbon atom. Might not seem like much, but add an oxygen atom to water (H2O) and you get hydrogen peroxide (H2O2). A single atom can change a substance entirely. AOS is a fantastic anionic (negatively charged) cleanser. It is gentle, non-drying, and foams up really well. Foaming doesn't really make a difference as far as cleaning, but we all like to see that our shampoo is working. A good lather also helps work the shampoo into your hair to make sure it cleanses that whole mane.
Cocamidoproyl (Coco) Betaine: Coco betaine works so well with other surfactants that many, many shampoos include it. It is amphoteric (both positive and negatively charged), which makes it good at both cleaning and conditioning. This helps make the shampoo a lot milder, helping to prevent it from drying out your hair and scalp.
Decyl Glucoside (aka polyglucose): Plant-derived, biodegradable, mild surfactant that cleans without drying. Paired with coco betaine, it is especially effective.
The combination of ionic, non-ionic, and amphoteric surfactants in our shampoo not only cleanses, but has another vital purpose: allowing the shampoo to moisturize. We include our trademark MONSTER JAM, our blend of jojoba, almond, and meadowfoam seed oils that make up our beard oil. This blend hydrates both skin and hair. A purely anionic shampoo would not allow any of this oil to stay behind and moisturize your hair. The opposite - a cationic shampoo - well, that's actually called conditioner, and it's not good at cleaning. But blending both elements allows you to both clean and moisturize your mane.
Pick up a bottle of MONSTER Shampoo to see what all the hype is about.
]]>You know lotion hydrates your skin. Everyone knows that. But how does it do that? What exactly is this simple cream doing to your body's fleshy wrapping paper?
First, let's talk about what lotion actually is. Lotion is a oil-in-water basic emulsion. You know how you've heard "oil and water don't mix"? Well, turns out that's a bunch of bull****. You can mix them; you just need something called an emulsifier - a substance which bonds to both oil and water simultaneously. The emulsifier holds water in one hand, and oil in another, creating a chain that allows the entire substance to be uniform.
MONSTER's Dr. Frankenstein's Flesh Revival Cream is an emulsion of water, shea butter, and hemp oil, using stearic acid and stearyl alcohol as emulsifier. That name is not just an homage to one of literature's greatest madmen. It describes what lotion literally does to your skin.
So here's something that'll mess with your head if you think about it too much: Your body is sheathed in a layer of dead stuff. Yep, the outer layer of your flesh is super mega dead skin cells. This is why it's easy for it to get dried out, cracked, even flaky (think about it - your organs don't sometimes get "flaky" - just the outermost layer of your body).
This outer layer is called your epidermis. It starts somewhere around 1/3 of an inch below the surface. At the bottom are healthy, living skin cells. They reproduce, live happy and productive lives, and then they die. Before the end, they start to produce a fibrous substance called keratin to get it ready to turn into your body's thin, dead armor. As the cells at the top die, they are scraped off (either by cleaning, exfoliating, or just good old-fashioned erosion), which pushes the lower cells to the top. When they get there, they are dead cells that act almost like scales. So your skin is part zombie, part lizard. You are one weird, wicked monster.
Good news is, the keratin, and the fact that these cells are dead, makes this outer skin layer good as a protective coating for your body. But unlike the rest of your body, which is nourished mostly by the moisture and nutrients in your blood, this layer of hairy death requires a bit of care from you. There are several primary methods of doing this, including cleaning, exfoliation, and maintaining a healthy diet to keep your skin's lifecycle healthy. But here we're going to focus on the main function of lotion: Hydration.
Cleaning your skin is vital to good skin care, but there's a downside. Soaps and other cleaners (surfactants) work by allowing your skin's natural oils - which are full of dirt and dead skin - to bond with water, making them easy to wash away. This means the sebum oil that your skin produces, and which normally keeps it moisturized, is being stripped away. You're essentially creating one problem by solving another.
The solution is to replace that natural moisture with something else. This is where lotion comes in. When you slather it on, the lotion soaks into your skin, and the water and oil hydrate those dry, dead cells. This reduces irritation caused by dry skin, makes it look more supple and lively, and generally makes it feel better. Like the name of our Flesh Revival Cream implies, in a way, lotion helps to bring that skin back to life.
A good lotion also helps to create a protective barrier to seal in the moisture it provides. This defends against environmental factors like extreme temperatures or wind that can cause your skin to get dryer than in optimal conditions. To know how well your lotion will protect your skin, you need to know a little about the ingredients that are used in lotions.
Water: In every lotion, water is the first ingredient you'll see. For "creams" you may find another ingredient listed first, and they are thicker and have lower percentages of water, but even in those, you'll probably see water first. And why not? Not only do oil-in-water emulsions like lotion work best with high water content, but for hydration, you can't beat water. I mean it's right there in the word (hydro meaning water).
Oil: Cheaper lotions will use a lot of glycerine (which is a humectant, and functions kind of like an oil but not really), and petrolatum, aka petroleum jelly or mineral oil. These will do the trick, but there are much healthier oils for your skin that will give you better results. Look for shea butter, coconut oil, hemp oil, or jojoba oil. Some would add olive oil to the list, but there are a lot of different grades of olive oil, and in that $5 bottle from the drug store, you're not getting extra virgin. You're getting lower grade pomace oil, which is way cheaper for manufactures and keeps that bottom line low at the cost of quality.
Dr. Frankenstein's Flesh Revival Cream uses hemp oil and shea butter.
Hemp oil is rich in omega-6 fatty acids, which act as an anti-inflammatory and also encourage healthy skin growth and cell generation. The omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids are sweet nutrients that can help soothe and treat atopic dermatitis. The linoleic and oleic acids have an "anti-aging" effect on skin as well, making it great for perking up that layer of dead skin you've got draped over your body meat.
Butter: Shea butter is our other primary ingredient. Technically it's not an oil, but it functions much like one in cosmetic products like lotion. It also has anti-inflammatory properties, and helps soften your skin. It also does a wicked fine job of creating a barrier to lock in moisture and keep that lotion working longer.
Glycerine: Vegetable glycerine is a very versatile substance that is used in a ton of personal care products. It's soluble in water and works well in emulsions. It's what's called a humectant - it draws in moisture, even from the air around it. On your skin, as part of a lotion, this adds hydration and extends the usefulness of lotion so you don't have to apply it as often. Under normal conditions, our lotion should only need to be applied once daily, or even every other day. If you're a coal miner or a deckhand or something though, you'll probably need to use it more often.
Beyond those basic ingredients, you'll see other stuff in lotion. As mentioned above, they all have an emulsifier (stearic acid, cetyl alcohol, and ceterayl alcohol are common). You'll also see thickeners like lecithin, carbomer, etc. Vitamins are common as well, though vitamin E is the main one you need to be concerned about with skincare, and is found in high concentrations in skin-healthy oils. Most have some kind of fragrance too. That doesn't really do much for your skin; it just smells nice.
Taking care of your skin is one of the most basic self-care practices, and one that can make a world of difference for your health and hygiene. Dudes often make the mistake of neglecting their skin, even going so far as to consider the practice effeminate. F*** that noise. Take care of your skin, because that dried out husk of death armor is the thin, fleshy line that protects your whole body from the evils of the world.
]]>Every year, MONSTER has a special sale on 4/20. Why? No reason! We just love that number. We promise.
Because 4/20 is on the weekend this year, we've extended to sale through the WHOLE WEEKEND! That's right, we're offering one of our best deals of the year for three days (April 19 - 21).
All weekend, get:
Just enter the discount code 420FRANKY at checkout.
AND
This is a special 4/20 this year, ya'll. Because this year, we're introducing a BRAND NEW FRAGRANCE for a limited time only. It's called HELLFIRE! It's a cinnamon whiskey fragrance, and it's available as beard oil, beard balm, beard wash, and mustache wax (you know, just like all our other stuff). All kits and combos also available in the Hellfire scent.
Free shipping available only to customers in the USA. Other offers available to all customers.
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The two biggest, most obvious changes we underwent this year were our website and our name. We adopted a new name - now MONSTER, dropping the "Beard" from the old name - and designed a new site around it.
The reason for the name change has a lot to do with some of the stuff below; we are offering more than just beard products now, so "Beard Monster" ran the risk of being a tad misleading as a name. We also had as our URL MonsterBeardCare.com, so a lot of people already thought we were called Monster (or some thought Monster Beard Care). So given that some people thought we were called Monster, and we no longer needed the "beard" part, we just started going by that.
The new URL and website layout came along with the change. A new face for a new name. And given that we are offering more than beard items, we needed "beard" gone from the URL, too.
So, given that our expanding line-up is the reason for a lot of the changes we've made, let's talk about that.
Lotion: Dr. Frankenstein's Flesh Revival Cream was the first non-beard product we offered. For the most part we already had the ingredients we needed for this from our other products, so it was easy to throw together. It's been a big hit - we sell a lot of them, and next year we will probably expand into some new fragrances.
Blood Bath Body Wash: I've always had an issue with body washes. They are either so drying for my skin that they are effectively like washing with cheap shampoo, or they are so moisturizing that when I'm done washing I still feel like I have it on me. So I came up with a formula that would get you clean and hydrate your skin without leaving that thick film on you. It's awesome. I honestly use it every day myself.
Rigor Mortis Pomade: Our first foray into hair care, this is a simple styling cream that will give a pretty solid hold. I have a long hair undercut style, and I use it to help keep that mane over to one side. I'm pretty proud of how it works, and that we can get the job done with a minimum of ingredients, non of which are silicates, parabens, or any of that other carcinogenic stuff. We don't shy away from chemicals (we do not fear science here!) but some of the stuff used in commercial products is dangerous, you know?
Dr. Jekyll's 2-in-1: I thought we'd offer a hair shampoo that conditions, too. Save some money (buy one product instead of two) and save some time. To be honest, the reviews have been mixed. It works great, but a lot of people do prefer to have two products. So next year, we may be breaking it up into two different products (and with each having fewer ingredients, the price should be lower, too).
That's been it so far for our non-beard stuff. We have a TON more coming next year, some of which will be discussed in a few.
Black Metal Beard Wash: This year we overhauled our beard wash by adding activated charcoal powder. If I'm being totally honest, this idea came around initially because I just wanted it to be black. But when looking for a good way to color it, I read about how great charcoal is for cleaning, and realized that would be a perfect way to go.
Blood Dragon Conditioner: While it's not a new product, we offered a beard conditioner for two years before I finally offered a second fragrance. We make the conditioner in larger batches than the wash (it's more complex, so we prefer to make a lot at once), so offering tons of fragrances has just been a little beyond our production capabilities thus far. But I figured one more couldn't hurt. Too much. DO YOU LIKE IT?!?!
Jack the Ripper: Cthulu was a great fragrance, but it just never really caught on. It was a very base-note scent, with nothing really popping at the top. I think that's probably why. But I don't know. Either way, we replaced it with Jack the Ripper. It's lavender and vanilla, which aren't really considered super masculine fragrances. But I read about a study that showed these were the two scents that men preferred in blind tests. And I certainly like them together. And hey, so do you - cause it's been our best seller since we introduced it in August.
Stickers: We started offering some stickers as well, after getting a daily e-mail from one customer or another asking if we'd ever do it. If a lot of people want something, it's just bad business not to get it for them.
We intend to start out 2019 with a blitz of new offering. I've been spending any spare time I have over the last couple weeks working on them, and I'm nearly ready to unveil them. But as a little sneak peek:
Stay tuned, jump on our e-mail list if you're not there yet, or find us on Facebook to stay up to date on when these new items start to drop.
Thanks for a great year you guys! Hope we keep seeing you for many years to come.
]]>Anyone with eyes can see we've got a new layout for our website. The more astute observer may have noticed that, over the past few months we've been changing a lot more than that. In case you've missed any of that, though, here's an explanation for some of the changes going on around here.
Name
Both the biggest and smallest change we've made is in our name. We've always been known as Beard Monster, but over the last year we've started making cologne, body wash, hair shampoo, lotion, and a whole host of wicked new items that aren't just for your beard. So while we've been slow about making the change, we're starting to go by just MONSTER - dropping the "Beard." Due to our URL, a lot of people kinda thought we were called "Monster Beard Care" anyway. You might be one of those people. If so, congrats - you were kinda right, just ahead of your time!
URL
If you typed in MONSTERBEARDCARE.COM to get here, you may have noticed we pulled the ole switcharoo on ya. Look up there - not what it says anymore, is it? Keeping with our theme of transforming from beard-only to a more all-inclusive men's line, we'll now be MONSTERFORMEN.COM. This means our e-mail address is changing too; we will now be info@monsterformen.com. It's 3 letters shorter, because we value your time. Nah, that's not why. We do though.
You'll probably notice that BEARD stuff is still our main focus. And it is! That's the category with the most stuff, and probably will be for a while. Speaking of those categories . . .
Categories
We have three main categories on our website now. We did this because as we kept adding new items, what item was found where on the site began to get a little confusing. So now we've got three main categories - Mane, Flesh, and Head (that's beard, body, and hair). What's in each category should, we hope, be pretty self-explanatory. There is a fourth category on the main page for Swag items, too.
Product Pages
Do you order more than one fragrance of oil, balm, wash, or wax at the same time? Hey, guess what: a lot of people do. And yet we've always had every fragrance on an individual page. To make that process quicker and easier for you, we've grouped all fragrances onto one page now. So instead of a page for Bigfoot oil, a page for Creature oil, a page for Gravedigger oil, etc., now all beard oil is on ONE PAGE. Same with beard balm, beard wash, and mustache wax. All kit items have always been this way, so there's no change there.
Also, those pesky tag clouds are gone from the product pages, replaced by drop-down menus. We do not miss the tag clouds. I suspect you won't either. They were the worst.
That's It
That covers everything, I think. The changes LOOK big, but in terms of our products and the process of ordering said products, everything is the same. We haven't changed up our formulas, the fragrances are the same, and we're not doing any new products at this time (but come on, you know we're working on more right now).
If there's anything you're not sure about, or if you notice anything weird, shoot us an e-mail. Just, ya know . . . use info@monsterformen.com now.
]]>First, let's get something out of the way. You might think that taking care of your beard is somehow not masculine. There are actually guys out there who feel it's somehow girly to do thing like moisturize, trim, or even clean your beard. But does it make you less of a man to wash your hair? To take a shower? When your skin is so dry it's cracked and flaking, are you less of a man if you use lotion to fix it? Of course not. So don't let anyone tell you that conditioning or styling your beard is somehow wrong.
With that out of the way, let's talk about style.
The first thing you need to do is decide what kind of beard you want. Rules at work or demands from your lady might put some restrictions on length, but most styles can work long or short.
This is by no means a complete list of all styles, and doesn't even venture into mustache styles. But these are the most common beard styles worn by guys these days.
Whatever style you choose, you'll need to think about what sorts of tools and products you'll need to create and maintain it. Want to go for a stubble beard? You won't need much apart from a bit of beard oil. Going for a full beard? You'll need everything from oil to scissors for that. You should also make plans for the growth itself. If you want a ducktail, for example, you'll need to trim it into that shape as it grows, but not for the first few months. Here's a rundown of the basic tools you'll need:
Once you've had your beard style for a while, and have gotten used to using the tools that style requires, you will start to fall into a routine. Every bearded man has his own routine, and they are generally personal, and invented by a combination of trial-and-error, convenience, and necessity. As a sample, here is my routine:
Morning shower; beard wash every other day, conditioner every day. Beard oil directly after the shower every day, followed by a boar bristle brush. Combing most days, unless it's just looking fantastic after the brush, in which case I leave it alone. If I'm going somewhere, I'll usually wait until my beard is dry and then apply some beard balm and style my beard how I want (sometimes just minor smoothing of the edges, sometimes rounding into a big Ottoman style beard). Once every couple of weeks I will trim my mustache and the edges of the beard with my scissors, always cutting just enough to snip off any split ends and keep everything even. My beard is about 12 inches long, and I prefer that length, so I never trim more than a quarter inch.
The beard maintenance routine is highly personalized, and once you'll have to work out on your own. There are some general rules - don't trim too often, don't wash every day, use beard oil after your shower when your skin is more accepting of moisture - but you'll come to your routine, for the most part, on your own.
Not every guy wears a beard. The statistics are all over the map (largely varying based on age group, and what pollsters consider a "beard"), but something like 15-20% of men wear beards. That's a lot, but far from the majority. Therefore, you're going to run into some social bumps. A lot of companies still won't let employees wear beards. Some women don't like them (funny enough, they tend to hate them while dating, but love them once married). Your mom is probably going to tell you that you look like a homeless person, regardless of how well maintained your beard is. So just like any group, it helps to have a social support network.
One of the best ways to find social support is through social media. Reddit has a thriving community of beardsmen called Bearddit where guys discuss beard maintenance and support each other by sharing pictures, asking for feedback, etc. There is also a monthly beard contest with several categories to enter, complete with prizes. We sponsor the contest, along with a number of other beard companies, so we highly recommend giving it a shot once you're happy with your style!
You can also find communities on Instagram (such as the Bearded Villains who are spread out across the globe). We humbly offer up our own Facebook page as well; a great community of over 100,000 bearded guys and the ladies that love them.
We hope these tips will help your journey into beardhood be as awesome as possible. It may seem like a lot, but don't sweat! Bearding may be a lifestyle for some, but it doesn't have to be. It can just be a personal style choice. It just requires a little more work than, say, buying a new shirt. Follow the tips, find your own styles and methods, and do what works best for you. That's the best way to get the most out of your beard!
]]>You've put down the razor. Now it's time to get this show on the road.
For your first couple of days, you're probably not going to see anything that unusual. You've probably gone a day or two without shaving before, so you know you'll start to feel some itch when that stubble starts poking through the skin. That itch is going to be your main concern in the first few days, so let's talk about where that comes from and what you can do about it.
The image above shows two hairs that have been cut. The left one is hair that was cut with a traditional blade, and the right is hair that was cut with an electric razor. While this image is often used to point out why electric shavers are inferior, one thing is true of both hairs: the ends are sharp. The left hair comes to a point with an almost needle-like tip. The right is gnarly and jagged.
Both of those are going to be pretty damn irritating when they are poking through your skin. So whether you've been shaving with a traditional blade or an electric one, you need to do something about that sharp/jagged edge if you want to make your early beard-growth more comfortable.
There are two primary ways to do this: beard oil, and a stubble softener.
A is an invaluable tool in these first days. It lightly abrades the ends of those baby beard hairs to dull that sharp edge. This will go a long way toward making the whole experience more comfortable.
Beard oil is a beardsman's best friend from day one. The oil helps sooth dry skin - and nothing dries skin out like new hair growth. It will also act as a lubricant for those follicles that are dealing with sharp emerging hairs. With less resistance, you'll have less irritation. Our advice is, from the moment you stop shaving - that first day when you look in the mirror, razor in hand, and decide to end the madness and cast that devil-blade away - put some oil on. If you don't have any beard oil yet, slap on a little lotion, or baby oil, whatever you've got. Otherwise, deal with the itch for the time being. But get oil soon. You're always going to need it.
Bonus Suggestion: Get yourself a boar bristle brush, too. The brush is good for distributing oils once your beard has come in, but during the itch phase, it's a great way to sooth that irritating skin. The boar bristles are soft enough to not cause any irritation themselves, but firm enough to scratch that itch.
Once the beard has begun to emerge from its face-cocoon, you'll get some relief from that itch. It's important to remember, though, that the itch from new growth is never going to fully go away. Hair grows at different speeds from different follicles due to a million different variables, so even two weeks in you're going to have late blooming hair that is just starting to emerge. Even a two-foot long monster beard is going to have hairs that fall out, come out on your brush or comb, etc. When the follicles start to issue new growth, you're going to have some itch.
That's why beard oil stays so important. It's not just about keeping the hair itself soft and managable. It's about mitigating the iritation beard growth causes to the underbeard skin.
This phase - which is usually a couple of weeks in - is a great time to evaluate your beard's future potential. Think of early stubble as an outline for your beard-in-progress.
Most guys will have hair growing all along the neck, jaw, and up to the cheeks. Many prefer to keep the neck hair cut back, so this will be a good time to start managing that.
If you notice any anomalies, you'll want to start making a plan. Those anomalies are, usually, patchy areas. Places where, even two weeks in, you're still seeing little to no growth. There are a million reasons why patchiness happens, but in general, there's not a lot to be done about it. If you've followed our foundational advice - healthy diet, good exercise, lots of vitamin E and biotin - and you're still patchy, then chances are you're always going to be. And don't go looking for a product that will make your beard grow faster, because it doesn't exist. A patchy beard is something that has to be managed.
The good news is, hair will almost always grow into those patchy areas eventually. The bad news is that it might take a lot longer than you want to wait. No one wants to have an inch of beard growth with a couple of random bald spots. So what do you do?
You can give it time for one. If you're embarrassed to walk around with patchy facial hair, you can try a vacation beard - start growing your beard a week or so before you go on vacation, then let it grow out while you're gone, so that when you come back the growth has started to become more even.
You can also try trimming back the faster growing hair with an electric trimmer (just using a really close guard). The patchiness doesn't look that bad with stubble, while it is a lot more pronounced with the grown hair. Keep the longer growth trimmed back until the patchy areas are able to catch up; your beard is going to come in slower this way, but you can at least do your best to keep that growth even so that it will look better.
But if you patchy growth is particularly dire, or you've got areas that just will not grow hair (such as due to burns, scars, old vampire bites, or just plain genetic mutation), you might need another plan. A lot of guys want to grow a full beard, but the areas that tend to be patchy (cheeks and jaw) often inhibit this plan. Consult a style chart (like the one in this post) and look through the styles that don't have hair growth in the areas that stay bald on you. Can't grow a single whisker on your jawline? Maybe try a goatee, or a Van Dyke. No growth on your chin? Maybe go with a Lemmy-style chopstache. You've got options. Figure out what will work for you and go for it.
It's Like a New Puppy
When you're a kid and you want to get a puppy, there are concerns to address: Who is going to take care of it? Aren't they super messy? Will they cost a lot? Before you canz get pupper, you must address these concerns. Now, you're an adult, so no one can stop you from growing a beard if that's what you want to do. But realistically speaking, you're going to have to do some convincing. Of two people in particular - the boss and the lady.
Let's break down the primary concerns both parties have.
Appearance. Your boss doesn't want you to look like a homeless person screaming "the end is nigh!" and neither does your girl. Not all animals groom themselves, but humans are among the group that does. So in general, we are more impressed by people who don't look like they just crawled out of a restaurant dumpster. When you tell your boss or your girl that you have a plan from the beginning, that can do a lot to quell those fears. Tell them you intend to keep it trimmed and oiled. It's a good idea to let them know that if it looks terrible, you'll shave it off. You won't have to though, because we're going to show you how to make it look awesome.
It's Messy. Beyond the fear that your beard will look messy, they might fear that your beard is just going to be full of skin flakes and taco crumbs. They may even remember the bullshit story that ran a few years ago about the presence of "fecal bacteria" in beards (which was a lie). Let them know you've read about proper cleaning of the beard. Tell them you read you can keep food out of it by just taking smaller bites (there, you just read it!). Just like the parents of the kid who wants a puppy, by letting them know you've done your research and are prepared, you'll have a much better chance of convincing them.
The Feel. Your boss probably isn't as concerned about this as your girl, but hey, I don't know your situation. A lot of ladies fear the beard because it's scratchy and rough. This is true of an unkempt beard, but a daily regimen of beard conditioner and beard oil can alleviate this complaint up to 100%. Regular conditioning will soften the hair of your beard until it feels almost like the hair on your head. Let your girl know you're not growing steel wool, but rather a soft velvet pillow. She may also have an issue with the mustache, as a shaggy stache can turn a kiss into an exercise in chewing pine straw. There are two ways to fix this: Mustache wax can keep the hair out of the way, or you can just trim the stache up to the lip line to keep it out of the way. Whichever method you go with, be diligent about it, or she's going to start raising objections again.
Don't F*** With It.
There may be more to beard growing than just leaving it alone and letting it grow, but...that's also part of it. Resist the urge to use a ton of products from day one. A good beard oil should be all you need in the early days. You don't need balm, you don't need to use any special washes. You certainly don't need to take a razor to anything. Don't bother with shaping, trimming, or anything of the sort. You want to let nature take its course both to allow growth, and to let yourself see how your beard grows so you know what you might need to do with it. Does it grow in patchy? Don't try to creatively trim around the patches; they are often just slower growing spots that need a little time to catch up. Does it grow in wild? Gear up to invest in some beard balm and a good trimmer. But you won't know until you grow.
Lay the Foundation
There are things you can do to make your beard grow in the best way it can. You can ignore these tips and try to mitigate the problems later, but why not do a little work now to have the healthiest beard you can from day one?
Diet. A healthy diet is always important. When you're growing a new beard in, consider foods that are high in proteins, biotin, and vitamin E. Lean meats like chicken and fish, beans, seeds, and nuts are all great for protein. Nuts - especially peanuts and almonds - are also a great source of biotin, so you might keep some around for snacking to boost your intake. A lot of the high protein foods, as well as leafy greens (the darker the better) will also contain vitamin E, which along with biotin is the key vitamin for healthy skin and hair. If you have trouble getting enough of these things into your diet, supplements are a good idea. Try a multivitamin, a biotin supplement, and a vitamin E supplement (some people prefer fish oil pills). If you're vegetarian, you'll want to be extra careful about finding B vitamins, but chances are you already do that.
Moisturize. Beard hair is pretty dry, and that's going to bother you in your beard's earliest days. From the beginning, you should keep just a bit of beard oil on your chin. It makes a big difference, even on those tiny early bristles. It will alleviate the itch and irritation caused by those prickly hairs poking through your skin by softening them up and keeping the skin soft and moist, thus easing the transition from inner follicle to outer beardliness.
Seriously Though, Don't F*** With It.
No one wants to be itchy and uncomfortable. But in the early days of your beardy journey, you're going to have to contend with some of this. You've been shaving all your life, and every time you cut your facial hair with a razor, you're slicing it at a slight angle that sharpens the end a bit. When it pokes through your skin, it's like a little spear stabbing its way out of the follicle. That, as you can imagine, is not comfortable. But it doesn't last long. The worst of it will be gone after a week, and after two or three at the most you won't really feel that at all. From there, all beard itch is completely manageable.
I know a guy who got into a hellish motorcycle accident. Dude was absolutely mangled. At the hospital he was put into traction for the dozen or so bones that shattered on impact with the blacktop. He said one of the worst things about not being able to move like that is when you get an itch, and it's just...too bad! Cause you're not scratching that itch. But he muscled through and got better. Still bikes, by the way. All I'm saying is, if he could live with itching like that, you can suffer through two weeks of mild discomfort if the end reward is a monster mane the likes of which the world has never seen.
So when you start to itch and you feel that temptation to grab the razor to end the torment, man up and think about my friend. You're a short time from looking awesome.
After your beard has grown for about a month, you can start doing a little shaping and trimming, but keep a light touch at first.
Good luck. We're here for you.
]]>We slapped together a few mobile wallpapers to make your phone a little more awesome. These are FREE backgrounds for your smart phone screen. For folks who have been using our oils, balms, and such for a while, you know we're proud of the artwork we put on our labels, and we regularly get comments about it. So this seemed like a cool way to let you have some of it somewhere other than a label.
(Note: We own the artwork, and we're only granting permission to use these images as mobile backgrounds. No other use, commercial or personal, is permitted. Legal stuff legal stuff legal stuff.)
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Some of the flakiness you experience with beard growth is due to dry skin. Geography can make this even worse, as dryer climates can really suck the water out of your skin like a vampire on a co-ed's neck. Good news is, this is one of those problems that you can fix. It's even possible, if you're diligent in your beard care, to avoid it entirely.
One easy fix is also the most common health tip you're likely to hear: Drink plenty of water. Water goes everywhere in your body, and that includes your skin. If you don't have enough water, your body is going to start sending what water you do have to the most essential places first. You know how in sci-fi movies, when the spaceship gets damaged, they start "diverting power from nonessential functions?" Same thing here. If you're dehydrated or underhydrated, your body takes care of the organs first and forsakes the skin. It works from the center out. Drink enough water, and your body will happily hydrate your skin as well, leading to less or even none of that dryness that causes flakes.
Hydration products like beard oil are crucial as well, as they help prevent your skin from drying out. Keeping your skin healthy is important, and a good beard oil acts as a supplement to this. It soaks into the pores, plumps up the skin, and helps prevent loss of natural oils and moisture as well. If you only use one beard product, for the sake of your beard's health, make it beard oil.
Sometimes, even your best efforts to keep that skin hydrated just don't work out. The best laid plans of monsters and men, am I right? You end up with some skin flakes in your beard, and you're just not going for that "snowy evening" look.
So get rid of the flakes. This is where exfoliating comes into play. You can use an exfoliating product, most of which come in plastic tubes and have ingredients like ground walnut shells to essentially abrade dead and flaky skin away. Make sure after using a product like this to thoroughly wash your beard, as it's easy to leave behind chunks of product after you're finished scrubbing.
Using a boar bristle brush is also a great idea. We recommend them all the time for helping with the application of beard oil, but they also make for a gentle scrubber to rub away dead skin under your beard. Remember your beard follicles are sensitive, so never attack your face with a brush; always use gentle motions to do this. Be sure to do this before you shower, as skin flakes that are knocked loose by the brushing will just hang out in your beard until they are washed away.
A lot of people don't realize this, but dry skin is not the only cause of dandruff. In fact, it's not even the most common. Dandruff is caused, most often, by dirt and oil clogging up your hair follicles. Bacteria love to eat that nasty stuff, and so they take up residence. Dandruff is the byproduct of this sinister process. It doesn't mean you're dirty or gross; it happens to pretty much everyone now and then. If it happens more often to you, it just means you've got to work a little harder to fix it.
The answer here is simple enough; you just have to clean up. Our Beard Wash is a great solution for gentle cleansing that will remove dirt and oil without being too harsh and drying your skin out. Remember, a common mistake with beard washing is washing just the beard. For attacking dandruff problems, you need to focus on the skin under your beard and not just the hair. In fact, in all aspects of beard hygiene, you should remember to pay just as much attention to the skin under your beard as the beard itself.
(Check out this article on washing your beard for more tips.)
It bears mentioning that new beards tend to be the most itchy. This is for two reasons. First, new growth is always irritating, as you've got little sharp hair-daggers poking their way out of your skin. That's not going to feel good to anyone. This irritation generally causes some itch, and it's one of the many excellent reasons that you shouldn't shave (well, that's our opinion anyway)!
Second, even once that hair has sprouted, you're likely to get some irritation because the new hair will begin to curl, and the ends of the new hairs will scratch at your skin. Sure, it's not a very strong scratching, but it's being done by thousands of hairs at once, all of which add up to an uncomfortable feeling.
To an extent, this can be alleviated through the use of softening products such as beard conditioner and beard oil. That will at least make the hair less abrasive. Other than that, time is your main tool. You've just got to let it grow out. There's an awkward period around an inch or so in length where your beard is going to do this to you; once it gets past there, gravity will start to pull those hairs down enough that the ends will leave your skin alone.
]]>Most bearded men wash their beards in some way or another. And that's a great habit to get into. A few years back, before the proliferation of beard products and information, the most the average beardsman would do was a quick rinse in the shower - maybe with some oil-stripping shampoo, or even bar soap. But these days we have beard wash to help is keep our manes clean. However, as a producer of beard shampoo, we've started to realize that a lot of people aren't really sure how they're supposed to be cleaning their beards.
The most common mistake we've seen is that some people focus entirely, or mostly, on their beard hair when washing. But think about the way you use shampoo on your hair (or used to, if you don't have it anymore). The focus is always on the top of your head. You work those suds in at the scalp first, hair second.
Why is that? Well, let's look at what shampoo actually does.
If you can't watch a video right now, or just don't want to, here's the basic breakdown:
This can cause you to feel a little nasty in and of itself, but the big problem comes in when bacteria sniff out the oil that's hanging out there at your follicles. Then dead skin from your scalp (or in this case, your chin) gets mixed in, and suddenly the bacteria have access to salt, fat, protein . . . it's pretty much a damn bacterial buffet. So we spoil their fun by throwing a surfactant on them and sending them to hell (well, the nearest water treatment facility).
When you wash your beard, focus primarily on washing your face with the beard wash. You don't even need to bother that much with washing the actual hair - the lather in our wash is pretty robust, so it's going to catch a lot of the gunk in your hair on the way out. In fact, you should give very little focus to your actual beard hair. Unless you:
Essentially, unless your beard is actually DIRTY, don't worry too much about cleaning the hair. Your beard is made up of thick, coarse hair that is pretty much always desperate for moisture. The sebaceous glands on your chin just aren't prepared to handle as much hair as we beardsmen like to wear. Let it keep some of its natural oil (and our wash will help put a little supplemental oil on there to keep it from drying out). But make sure you clean those follicles with a good gentle scrub.
A lot of people was their hair every day. It's an easy default setting for us. You clean yourself every morning, you brush your teeth every morning, you use the soap every morning, why not clean your hair every morning?
If you're paying attention, you may already be able to guess why not.
The oil in your hair is good for you. This was not a mistake of evolution. It's supposed to be there. But it can cause problems if it stays there too long. They key is in finding out what "too long" means for your beard.
When we are asked "how often should I wash my beard?" we generally defalut to the answer: every three to four days. This is not entirely accurate though. The more accurate answer should be: When it looks or feels dirty.
I (Austin) wash my beard every three to four days. More often than that, and I'm stripping too much oil too often. If your beard does not produce or retain much oil, you can probably wash just once a week, or even less. If you've got a particularly oily beard (and aren't you just a diamond in the rough), you probably need to wash a lot more often - possibly even daily. Actually, here's a chart that might help.
Basically, try this. Wash your beard. Then rinse your beard every morning, put on beard oil as usual, and go about your business. How does it feel the next day? Fine? Okay, go to day two. Repeat. Repeat. When you get to that day when you feel kinda oily, kinda itchy, make a note of it. That's when the oil build-up is starting to become a problem for your face. That's how many days you should go between washes.
Remember that, for most of us, you're not washing a very large area with your beard wash. Most users should not venture past a dime-sized portion of wash. Too much, and you're going to dry your beard out - no matter what wash you use.
Our wash is made with gentle surfactants and infused with oils to minimize their effects. The plain truth of it is that every cleaning agent is designed to also remove oil. That's just how it works. If a beard wash was not capable of drying out your beard, it is not capable of WASHING it, either.
It's best to stick to moisturizing washes like ours, but even then there's such a thing as too much beard shampoo. Use more than a small portion and it's going to work TOO well, and leave you with a face full of sun-baked hay. Keep the amount to what's prescribed, and don't increase it - even if your beard is bigger now than it was when you first started using our wash - until you start feeling like you're still a little dirty after the wash. And then, add a few molecules for next time.
The moisture and acidity of the hair on your face is a lot harder to control and far more delicate than what's on your head, so taking care of it requires a gentler, more surgical approach. It takes some practice, mostly because no one can tell you exactly how to do it. The above are just guidelines. Good ones, but every beard is different. Like snowflakes, we are! Use this guide to help you, but you've got to find what's best for your beard on your own.
Normal commercial conditioners include ingredients like silicone that can dull your beard and even result in tiny silicate flakes. Beard Monster's Beard Conditioner is a more traditional cream rinse, made of an emulsion of water, natural oils, and shea butter. Even the BTMS wax, the thing doing the emulsifying in the emulsion, is helpful in conditioning without giving you any of the problems a regular, store-bought conditioner does.
Beard washing should absolutely be followed up with a conditioner, as well as an after-shower routine including beard oil and/or beard balm. But using a cheap bottle from the grocery store is not doing your beard any favors.
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